Megatron (7) vs. Jessica Rabbit (10)

Jessica Rabbit (10) stood alone in the cold, abandoned warehouse, purposefully tapping her foot. A quick glance at her watch revealed that she was waiting for someone. Someone important. "Two more minutes and I'm leaving," she muttered.

No sooner had she said this than the entire roof of the warehouse was torn off. Towering over the remains of the building was Megatron (7), casting a steely gaze at Jessica. "There you are, big boy," she simpered. "I thought you'd never show up. I was beginning to get lonely." She walked sensuously past Megatron, running her hands over his legs as she passed. "You're quite a lot of man, honey. But I'm quite a lot of woman. Think you can handle me?" She raised her skirt almost imperceptibly, throwing a sultry look into Megatron's eyes. He paused and swallowed hard, as if gathering up the strength to do something. And just then, he did; with a mighty "PUNT!", Jessica Rabbit was sent careening through the remains of the warehouse, crashing into a pile of boxes. He walked over to the wreckage, making sure the deed had been finished. The boxes were motionless. Jessica Rabbit lay still and quiet.

Megatron tugged nervously at his collar. "Evelyn will kill me if she finds out what I was up to tonight! I gotta think of a cover story, and fast!"

Final score: 6-3 (23-15)

Emperor Palpatine (3) vs. Alanis Morissette (14)

This doesn't feel right, thought erstwhile face of the angry woman movement Alanis Morissette (14). She had received a call to play a show - her first in years! - just the other week from someone who wouldn't give a name and insisted on paying in cash. The venue was one she wasn't familiar with (what sort of a name is the "Death Star" for a club, anyway?), and it was on short notice.

Still, a job was a job.

Yet now that she was here, something just felt wrong. Too wrong. She turned to head for the door, only to find someone blocking her way.

"Emperor Palpatine (3)?"

"You oughta know, Alanis."

With one hand in his pocket, and the other making a peace sign, the Emperor sent forth a gargantuan display of Force lightning, sending Alanis flying head over feet into the opposite wall. "How does it feel, Alanis?" Palpatine mocked, a terrifying smile on his face. "Eh. You live, you learn, I guess."

With an even more horrifying grin, Palpatine levitated a slew of boxes high over his head, turning them so Alanis could see what was written on them.

"Spoons," she said quietly.

"Ten thousand of them," cackled the Emperor. "And to think that all I need is a knife." He let the spoons crash down on her head, killing her instantly.

Isn't that ironic?

Final score: 7-2 (29-12)

write it up

For those unaware, I've been writing the recaps for the victors in the tournament of champions for every round. (I had a hard time getting through all of the first round, since there were 36 recaps to write, but I got a good chunk of them done.) Apparently they've been well received. For those of you that are interested, I'm planning on adding the best of them to this blog. I'll go ahead and post the ones that I liked best, but if there are some that don't make it up here that you feel should, please don't hesitate to tell us.